Am I officially cool now?

I have joined all the cool people. NO - I have not joined Facebook. I have not had plastic surgery. I don't have an iPhone, and I haven't been spotted on TMZ.com.

I have a Roomba. It's roaming around seemingly randomly right now. It's FABULOUS!

Somehow my vague flu symptoms have improved and I'm upright out of bed just to watch and report on it. It doesn't fit under our sofa (we'll have to jack them up so the Roomba can have great fulfillment), and when it transitions from hardwood to carpet it leaves a little hair bunny, but using the Dyson for 30 seconds to run along the edge of the carpet is sooo much easier than having to vacuum everything with the Dyson.

And this is waaay more entertaining!

Based on the sudden magical improvement in health I have received from the Roomba, I have 7 miles in the morning! Yay me! Yay Roomba!

PS - Already had sad Roomba sounds. It went into one of the kids bedrooms and tried to suck up something that it shouldn't. This thing needs some sort of RFID chip - I'm walking down the hall calling to it. "Roomba? Rooombaaaaa? Where are you???" I found it huddled beside the door like it was trying to get back to me. This thing is so anthropomorphic and it doesn't even LOOK human!

Thoughts on Indoor Soccer

This is WAAAY more fun for the littlest kids since there is no out of bounds. Play it off the wall, play it off the parents. Only whistle blowing is "no hands", or if they get so completely glommed up in the corner that they are in danger of crushing each other like a mosh pit.

Of course there are the kids that have no clue what's going on and are checking out the mats on the walls or staring up at the overhead lights as the ball rolls right by them.

Then comes the grade schoolers. MUCH more competitive and many of them actually have shin guards and know how to play soccer. They even do headers, and when the ball hits them they don't start crying.

What I've noticed most is that there's a direct inverse correlation between the size of your legs and your soccer skills. The kids with the scrawniest matchstick legs are the ones that are the best soccer players. If you have sturdy legs, you are not good at soccer.

Of course the blue team is 50% girls, and they are consistently beating the pants off the red team, even when the red team is down a couple of players and the adult coaches are subbing themselves in. I'm talking scores like 6 to 1 in an hour game. Go girls!

To swim or not to swim...is there a question?

Ugh...that pretty much sums it up - UGH! (note exclamation point). A little history here...as a child - chronic ear infections, tubes in the ears dilemma, etc which = Dee not putting her head under water all of her years growing up. So, what does that mean you ask? Dee never learned to swim. Let me be clear...I can tread water, float and do what I call the breast stroke - ha - it ain't pretty. But none of that qualifies as swimming. Let me jump forward for a minute - Sept 2009 I will be competing in a Half IronMan...bike 56 miles - ok, it's work but ok, run 13.1 miles - got it...but before both of those, swim 1.2 MILES, in a river, in a Half IronMan competition! Again, UGH. I have done sprint series triathlon's where you swim 350 - 750 meters in pools, or lakes...I HATE open, flowing water, and I have a real difficulty putting my face in the water. Hmmmmm, dilemma understood yet? So tomorrow I am off work and will begin investigating gyms with pools and swim programs. Picture me - a 40 year old grandmother - joining a group of 6 year olds with my water wings and fins...LOL. Well, one positive note - Pam found a fab-u-lous website (she is the SME of all)that you can buy Speedo race suits for $25 instead of $80 if you agree to go into the "grab bag" and let the site pick your suit. I love mine, snug and pretty, nothing is slipping or falling out of that suit! Anyway back to the discussion...so I will be posting on here and alerting parents and small children as to where my lessons in flailing and splashing will occur. I am excited, in a nervous sort of way, apprehensive, and well, honestly, a bit scared...
Stay tuned...
Peace out...
Future Olympic hopeful...NOT!
-SpeeDee

Sir Edmund Hillary Has Nothing on Me!

HA! 6.5 degrees according to my Garmin. I had that cool frosted eyelashes thing going on. I dashed into the house looking for a child to witness my frozen lashes.

That was FUN!

Paula Deen's Nutrition - DIFFICULT

I cannot fathom WANTING to eat this. I’m with her until she gets to the buns. And what "Lady" would eat this?

The Lady's Brunch Burger

Mix ground beef, chopped parsley and grated onion together in a large mixing bowl. Season liberally, with House Seasoning. Form 3 hamburger patties of 1/2 pound each.

Heat a large cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and spray with non-stick cooking spray. Add the burgers and cook until desired temperature, 4 to 5 minutes per side for medium-rare. Fry bacon in a hot pan until crisp. Remove and drain on paper towels. Set aside.

While burgers are cooking, heat a non-stick pan, over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons butter. Crack 3 eggs into the pan. Cook until the yolks are just set and still slightly runny and remove.

Place burger patties on English muffins or buns, and if desired, on glazed donuts, as the buns. Top each burger with 2 pieces of bacon and a fried egg.

Prep Time - 10 minutes
Cook Time - 15 minutes
Yield - 3 servings
Difficulty - Easy

HEART ATTACK SEVERITY: CRITICAL, 100% MORBIDITY

Paula, you know I love you, but I’m worried about your health. I watched you melt and pour an entire stick of butter on the top of your easy potpie (I’ve made the same one for years without the butter and it’s just FINE). But do you not realize or not CARE that each KK has 200 calories and 12 grams of fat. So using two gives us 24 grams of fat just for the “buns”, then add in the hamburger patty, bacon & fried egg (you are frying the eggs in only 2 tablespoons butter. I’m proud of you for cutting back on this one). I don’t think I can count that high for fat grams, honey! Unless you are a homicidal serial killer in disguise, you’ve got to stop killing your loyal viewers.

Actually, I have to reclassify myself. I can’t say I’m a loyal viewer as defined by wanting to cook what you cook. Rather I am like a bystander at a car crash or fire. I’m just here to watch the destruction and thank God it’s not me.

I gave up peanut butter! Yep!

So on December 3rd, 2008 I did it! I gave up peanut butter. Oh my old and dear friend, how many nights we have bonded over chips or crackers or sometimes even just a spoon. It's been over a month now since we said goodbye and oh how I miss you. The way you just sat there patiently and quietly, just waiting for our next late night rendezvous. Sigh! But alas, I realized it was time to let you go....doesn't it go something like "if you love something, set it free..." Well, Mr. PB you have been replaced. I have a new love in my life, and he is a winner. Let's just call him KK (no, NOT Krispy Kreme Pam) for now. We meet each night before I go off to slumber and he keeps me satisfied. Who is this new stranger you ask...well, let me wait to reveal after I am sure he's ahnging around and not just a ship passing in the night.
Peace!
SpeeDee

I am NOT bendy...but I go to relax!

So off to Bikram Hot Yoga I went this morning...I love going to hot yoga, on the way driving there I always get so excited. What a stress relief this will be, how relaxed I will feel after, I will be one with the universe. HA! It starts out that I HAVE to be there at exactly 9:30am because once the doors open I HAVE to have my mat in my prime location for class before someone else steals it. Then it's off to the locker room where we change - which when in there, when the door opens, ANYONE walking by gets a clear shot in...nice. Mmmm, finally time to grab my water, go lay down and begin adjusting to the 110 - 115 degree dry heat-no talking-don't look at anyone else room. So I lay there in the 25 x 40 foot room. Room for 5 rows of people to hum and breathe and relax together. Then, today, here he comes...Mr. 6 ft 5 and he pops his mat down right in front of me - what is he doing? He will obstruct my view and I won't be able to look in the mirror at my feable attempts to master my postures for the next 90 minutes. I squirm, slide my mat over a few inches and lay back down as he steps out for water. AHA, he's back...what's this...now I am laying on my back in "dead body pose" with my head to the front of the room, like you should. Well, when Mr. does the same, since the rows are only 5 and a half feet, guess who gets his size 14's in the face - ugh - he needs a pedicure. Ooooh, a newbie comes in, yay, I won't be the least bendy today maybe! I lay back down, feet again! Today it was hot, I mean even my ears were sweating. Postures go on, and at one point my necklace charm was in my nostril as I was bent in the posture they call "you should look like a Japanese ham sandwich from the side". WHAT the eff? Anyone ever heard of a Japanese ham sandwich? Although that does make me hungry. Remove runner girl charm from nostril and carry on. The first series is all standing postures which by the end it feels like my arms have been ripped from my body and beat me upside the head. Wasn't I here to relax? Ahhhh, back into the flow...party time, this is when we are allowed to take a drink of water. I picked Smart Water today but still feel adequate. I got though the first floor series with only one time of it really hurting my boobs - men don't get it. The sweat was so heavy and rolling into my eyes but all I could think about was movie theater popcorn? Why can't I get into a Zen? I try to look straight ahead in the mirror, so tempted to see if everyone looks like they are thinking of strange things like me. Floor series - great more of Mr. Bigfoot. Ugh. Who sweats this much? Gosh how I wish Pam had answered my ping to swim. Wait, I am swimming, in my own created pool. I am here to relax, I am here to relax. Postures are complete - I lay down on the floor for my final dead body posture. Hey, I am relaxed! Is it because I reached Zen mode or because I am exhausted? Don't know, don't care, but I do know I sweat enough to go eat lunch.

DUH Mom!

In the locker room at the Y after preschool swim lessons. All of us moms are in there getting our preschoolers showered, dried and dressed. Little boy finishes getting dressed and promptly goes over to the sink to wash his hands. Mom: "Come ON! You don't need to wash your hands - you just took a shower!"

"Mom, I peed in the shower."

Boys. Gotta love 'em. And they don't change as they grow up, either.

Hair of the Dog 5K

Woot! For those who have been following my progress, or lack thereof, the good news yesterday (12/31) was that I'm released to run! Be sensible, don't catch up all my missed training in the first week, and listen to my knee. I can definitely live by those rules -- maybe it was wearing the "gotta run" t-shirt that sealed the deal.

So off we went to the New Years Eve party at the Cavalier in Virginia Beach. Let's just say that I drank a few more martinis than last year, and the results of that would be about what you'd expect. We made some new friends and had a BLAST! (Happy Anniversary, Dee & Bob!)

It was pretty tough getting up this morning for the Hair of the Dog 5K. I was registered in the Walkers division and planned to be absolutely gorgeous in my seafoam green Joan-Collins-Dynasty gown. It was 29 degrees, wind blowing 10 - 20 miles per hour, and just a miserable day to race, in addition to the aforementioned "few more martinis" syndrome. But we hardy souls headed out -- Dee, Bob, Dennis, Beverly, Dean, Judy, Rob & Mary Beth with lots of layers and lots of grumbling. It was a great race for everyone, and I'm so stoked about my high placing in the Walker division that I'm going to pretend that I wasn't in the Walker division and act like I am just that good.

Check it out!!!!

Your overall finish place was 17, your age group finish place was 7 and your gender finish place was 10. Your time of 46:21.05 gave you a 14:57 pace per mile.

If you ignore that last little teeny sentence, it sounds like I was in contention for a prize! And all this while wearing the most gorgemous dress of all!

Watch out, Richmond! I'm back!